Take Control of Your Life: Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist and End the Drama

Allysia: Thank you for putting in words exactly what I have been dealing with. Thank you for writing out ways to a happier lifestyle. I needed to read this, I wish I had read this years ago.

United States on Sep 22, 2023

Jordan Freeman: I found this book to be incredibly helpful. I read this on kindle but plan to buy a hardcopy. There are many areas of the book that i will have to revisit, re-read and re-absorb. This book is a guide to healing and about reclaiming one’s life. A must read for anyone who is in a close relationship with w bp/np.

Canada on Sep 07, 2023

Joanna Slater: Avoid so many mistakes by embracing this advice.

United Kingdom on Sep 07, 2023

Reader: This is a great book for someone with a BP/NP person in their life. Ive been in “recovery” of a caretaking for about two years. The steps are not easy, it’s a slow process with a huge change. These are life changing you’re making of yourself. I learned a lot of what this book talks about in a 12-step program.
I wish this book or any book on BP’s would talk more about parenting a BP minor, almost adult child. I was terrified of my child and his behavior, the book describes it pretty well. Cant leave/kick out your minor child, Legal system also doesn’t do anything yet, they are too old to be forced to therapy etc. Learning to let go, and not argue with your child is extremely difficult.
I highly recommend anyone in these situations to find a good therapist or support group. Thing can get better when you make changes in yourself it shifts the entire dynamic! I could write an entire book myself if my experiences.

United States on May 31, 2023

Samir Kanparia: This is book is life saver for those who are living with BP/NP and acting as caretaker. I have read numerous books on BP/NP, but this book is best amongst all others. Not that others were bad. It has capability to make real difference in you. Very thorough, detailed and information.

India on Jan 11, 2023

millie: Wow !, where do I begin.
The truths in this book are totally shocking, but that’s what we need to finally see & accept the truth of the matter. It felt like the book was written just for me & my emotionally abusive relationship.
It explains the abuse in an excellent way, in a way that’s easier to grasp the severity of every day interactions. Be prepared for a wave of what can only be felt & seem as over emotional feelings & emotions, but this by far not a negative thing, those deep seated emotions that have suppressed for so long need to come out in order for you to recognise, accept & help you try & move forward to finally & basically “love yourself & stand up for yourself”.
Now I totally stand up for myself towards the gaslighting perpetrator-(the perpetrators traits are far to long to list here)-the most important step is to recognise it, get help & support & try your best tp start baby steps of “looking after you, loving you” as this hasn’t been the case for so long. I know, again I KNOW that I am I good, caring & loving person, which is what we need more of in the world, these positive traits of mine have been...

United Kingdom on Oct 11, 2021

FabMonster: After reading many books about verbal abuse, passive-aggressiveness, the spouse who avoids intimacy. etc., this book finally put it all together. This one helped me.

First of all, organizing the previous characteristics into the category “vulnerable narcissist” made a lot of noise as all the pieces of my life fell into place with resounding clunks! Parent. Spouse 1. Spouse 2. Now Spouse 3.

I had never seen the previous spouses as narcissists because the popular image of grandiose boasters did not really fit. But this book could have been written, word for word, about my current spouse, and explained the others. There are more of him! This is a Thing!

The most important way this book helped is that it did not just present one spouse as a victim and the other as an abuser. This approach has really put me off many other books. This book has a more balanced view of the narcissist or borderline person as a valid person, with limitations but with a perspective that makes sense to them, as someone who might be worth being with... if one can avoid being eaten alive, the drained carcass spat out the way a spider drops the husks of its captured flies.

There...

United States on Nov 08, 2020

S. Miller: I wish I had come across this resource 10-20 years ago! It is clear, concise, straightforward, helpful, healing, insightful, empowering and so much more. It is the missing piece that I have been longing for after years of counseling, self-help books, and an absolutely poor marriage complete with negative effects on the children.

Having new knowledge, a new way to process information and new tools of engagement has been transformative for me - my physical and mental health and my own measure of happiness to name but a few. And that’s the point, right? For the first time in a very long time, i am in control of myself, including being a happy, whole, autonomous person moving in a positive direction despite how any other person in my life may act. I have a new career, a long-term plan for myself. Where I used to feel selfish for taking care of myself, I now prioritize it without apology.

Having grown up under what I now recognize as a parent with some serious narcissistic behaviors, I was literally blind to manipulation. I simply didn't know any better. On pages 114-115, the author states that learning this knowledge means you can never unlearn it: "You are stepping...

United States on Jun 12, 2020

Francisca: I wish I had come across this book many years ago, then maybe I wouldn't have wasted my life away in relationships that weren't worth the amount of pain I am still going through. Now I understand what has been going on in my life for a long time, why my relationships have failed, why every time I tried harder and harder only to be terribly disappointed all over again. I haven't even read half of the book yet but I want to leave here my testimony, for whatever is worth, in the hope that it will help people like me read this book. Too bad that in the UK there is no specialized help for partners of people who suffer from Borderline, because that is what I felt I needed even before I came across this book. My now almost ex-husband had to diagnose himself, although I looked in my notes for a therapist we both had therapy with and one of the subjects to discuss with her had been whether he might suffer from Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The tragedy is that you have to come up with the options as the professionals don't seem to be able to. She didn't want to discuss it as she felt that this would take the responsibility of the way he had abused me away from my husband...

United Kingdom on Jan 30, 2015