Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein's 10-Day Guide to Developing a More Compliant Child, 2nd Edition

rossc58945: Wish I had known about this book when my grandson whose now going to be 24. But it has been very eye opening and applying it with my 6,9 and 10 year old grandsons.

United States on Jun 11, 2023

randallvm: The author is very well written and has an abundant amount of good information. He definitely writes where he relates with you and makes you feel like you are not crazy and the only parent dealing with a defiant child. He puts things in perspective very well. My only complaint is that this is a 10 day “problem solving” book but each chapter is soooo long! So much information in each chapter. It’s a bit overwhelming. I finished the book in 20 days and that was reading for 45 mins a day. But all in all super helpful and really made me look at these struggles in a different way.

United States on Jul 29, 2022

Ashley&Michael: Reviewing parenting books is tricky because what works for one family may not work for another. But this book was exactly what we needed! I've shared with friends that this isn't a book for kids who are defiant as is normal for their age, but rather the Defiant Child, the child who is defiant by personality type. I've read so many parenting books and felt like I was doing everything right without achieving positive results in reality, and at this point I'm convinced that while the things I've done up to this point would have worked on a different child, none of these things have worked with my child because of who he is. Making some fundamental, foundational changes based on the advice of this book has very quickly shown effective results. I also like that this book contains advice for children from toddlerhood through teens, that the advice is so universal and basic for this type of child that it is easily adjusted through all their developmental phases!

United States on Jun 19, 2022

sam: Great book. Easy chunks and manageable. I keep ready books but it’s hard to then apply anything you have learnt. This helps breaking it down daily!

United Kingdom on Feb 20, 2020

MrsRockMrsRock: A good read and some aspects and pointers worked for me and then others didnt, which I suppose is true for most. However, my son has autism and I suspect pathological demand avoidance syndrome also, so may not be the right tool for me.
It is extremely helpful for the mind, although I have never lost my cool in the situations given in the book, I have felt pushed beyond my limits and left mentally exhausted. This book breathed some fresh air into my head and helped me realise I am not alone. But it also made me realise my child is not defiant, he is autistic and lead by his anxieties.
Still, a useful book, more about training yourself, which is what it should be about really!

United Kingdom on Jan 04, 2020

Kreative KKreative K: What I learned from Dr. Bernstein and reading this book is that I have to change myself if I want to change my child's defiant behavior. Dr. Bernstein "gets it" as he admits to having struggled with defiance issues within his own family. At first, for the first day or so, it's hard, no doubt, as we have to get used to not reaching for our "go to" response of yelling or whatever other negative reaction we have when our child is defiant, but I promise, it gets easier as you gets used to your new role as an "emotion coach" for your child. Remember, too, that every moment of every day is an opportunity to change your behavior as a parent and your child's defiant behavior. Don't lose sight of what is important.

Dr. Bernstein's style of writing appeals to me because it's down to earth yet educational and motivating. Dr. Bernstein doesn't throw around a bunch of "psycho-babble" and some people are wont to describe the narratives of similar books.

If you are struggling with defiance in your child and are nearing your wit's end, I implore you to do you and your family a favor and buy this book, read and absorb the teachings within. You will not regret it.

United States on Oct 17, 2019

Amazon Customer: This book is amazing. I've tried several books and, although lots have been helpful, this is by far the best. The advice is simple and makes so much sense. It's broken down into easy-to-read sections/bulletpoints and each chapter addresses different things e.g. there is a chapter dedicated to helping parents shout/yell less. I can pick the book up at random times to remind myself of the techniques and i DEFINITELY see a difference in my child through implementing them.

I would really, really recommend this book for anyone struggling with a defiant child or children. Fantastic!

United Kingdom on Aug 21, 2018

Bella: Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Of the many parenting books out there this is one of the really useful ones.

We bought this book because we were at out wits-end. He mentions in the book that many children are well-behaved for other people but defiant in the home. Not so with ours, he was defiant everywhere and it was getting worse and worse. The more we tried to control his behaviour the worse he became and it affected everything: school, home, activities. It was becoming hard to take him anywhere.

I read lots of book reviews and settled on this one as a starting point, thinking that it might not be enough, or appropriate to the type of behaviour I was seeing. It quickly became clear that this book is for the parents of very difficult children, so if you have one of those, but there is no clear reason why then it may well be for you.

The advice given in the book, given over 10 chapters which repeat the learning from and build on one another, takes you through the reasons that your child is behaving this way, and then gives some practical advice. It is very easy to read and non-technical, with plenty of examples to make the steps clear. In truth the method...

United Kingdom on Jun 06, 2018

Abbey: I bought this book to get help with my ten year old daughter . I wanted to make her less defiant, as our relationship was becoming strained . what I expected was a book with advice on how to make my daughter behave in the way I wanted and this was my biggest learning curve. As I ended up looking at myself and re assessing my parenting style.
This book had lots of strategies and helpful tips for both of us and was also very positive .
This has been one of the best books I have read and has changed our home life I won't lie and say everything is perfect but this book has a great quote about striving for progress not perfection and that is exactly what has happened in our home we are making small steps in the right direction but the 10 steps do work .
I thought I had a defiant daughter but I think I was a defiant mum ! It has been a journey for both of us .

United Kingdom on Apr 28, 2017

D'Ann B.: I'm working it...

If you are looking for a miracle formula to instantly change your defiant, ODD, ADHD, or plain ornery child, this is not it..

This is a book that validates your child's feelings and behaviors, and shows you how to understand and interpret and react (or not)..

It is about changing the way you deal with the defiant child.. which in turn changes the defiant behaviors... helps with the overwhelming feelings of dispair and failure we parents of defiant children have..

We have not failed, a defiant child needs to be handled a different way. When the rewards, bribes, screams, yells, punishments etc don't work, sometimes a simple whisper may.

In the week I've been working the book, I have only raised my voice once, and my kiddo has actually willing helped around house.. now, don't think I'm saying she's been an angel or all issues are gone. My reactions have been consciously changed, and that seems to be making an impact.

I am hopeful that as we continue working the book it will get even better.. and if that happens, when that happens I will add the 5th star.. but so far, so good..

There is no magic cure, but with love,...

United States on Nov 21, 2016