The Verbally Abusive Relationship: An Expanded Third Edition

Karen: Was incredibly validating and deeply insightful. It made sense of all of his behaviours for me and that it was never about me as I thought. I always k ew he was not seeing or perceiving my earnest goodness nor will he ever about any woman he’s in “relationship” with. It’s pointless with abusers. A life of misery.

Canada on Oct 17, 2023

Leser: Während der Inhalt des Buches mit gleichem Titel, das von Patricia Evans geschrieben wurde, mehr als 5 Sterne verdient, hat sich Amazon erlaubt, eine eigene Version des Buches zusammenzuwerfen und ohne Warnung oder Ankündigung als das Originalbuch zu verkaufen.
Haptik: Ver Umschlag glänzt nicht, er ist matt und zeigt jeden Fingerabdruck.
Dem Buch fehlt in der Länge ca. 1 cm und in der Breite ebenfalls 1 cm. Das führt dazu, dass die Schrift kleiner ist und schwerer zu lesen. Das ist nun gegenüber dem Käufer eine Unverschämtheit sondergleichen. Warum tut man so etwas? Auf diese Übernahme durch Amazon hätte hingewiesen werden MÜSSEN. Stattdessen wird durch Farben, Einband (außer dass er dilettantisch gemacht ist, was man erst merkt, wenn man das Buch in Händen hält) bewusst und mit Absicht der Eindruck erweckt, es handele sich um das ursprüngliche Buch. Redlich und kundenfreundlich ist das nicht.
Auf der allerletzten Seite kann man lesen "Printed in Poland by Amazon Fulfillment. Poland Sp. z.o.o. Wroclaw" Polen? Amazon Fulfillment? Hat die Autorin ihre Rechte an den Verkaufsgiganten abgetreten? Macht der nun, was er will? Darauf hätte hingewiesen werden...

Germany on Sep 11, 2023

G. Miller: First know that this book is a DEFINITION of verbal abuse tactics. It is NOT a 'how to recover', although Patricia Evans has since written one called Victory Over Verbal Abuse. This book is NOT that.

For 25 years my husband and I would have the same types of arguments over and over and could never come to a resolution. I read every book I could find that I thought would help, without much help. When I found this one, it literally broke the spell I was under, instantaniously! Once the 'AHA!" happened, I was better able to see what he was doing and how I was feeding into it. I changed the rules, I changed how I spoke to him and what I would allow from him. We're 17 years past my reading of the book and things are much better.

I highly recommend this book, yet want to caution you: In the beginning she states that both men and women can be verbally abusive and then goes on to state that, for brevity's sake, she will use "he" as the abuser and "she" as the victim. Some have called this sexist, and that's fair, but please don't get stuck on that so you can't get to the meat of the subject. There are also lots of resources out there for actual recovery, but if you don't...

United States on May 07, 2023

The Rebecca Review: I didn't know about verbal abuse until I was attacked by a troll consistently for about a year and learned about malignant narcissists and how they treat people. To be honest it was all a bit traumatizing. Since then I've learned a lot about toxic individuals and the interesting reasons why they act the way they do.

Verbal abuse is even more public today than it ever has been. You may be being abused in private or even online in public for everyone to see! It is a new world where you not only have to worry about your physical survival but also about your psychological survival.

I also noticed in the year when I was abused that not one person confronted the troll or even held him accountable. This is the truth. More than likely you are on your own fighting against abuse. So what do you do to protect yourself from what is obviously bullying?

The first thing Patricia Evans explains is that abusers and victims are living in two different realities and it makes a lot of sense! You will instantly recognize which of your relationships are operating in reality 1 or 2! A reality 1 can cause real mental anguish for the victim and kill their spirit.

If you feel...

United States on Nov 21, 2021

An Honest Reviewer: I could go on and on about how relevant, helpful and practical this book is. Please allow it to suffice for me to say that this is the only author I've ever personally sent a thank you card to for, and I quote, "SAVING MY SANITY!" After being in recovery for over 2 years, and severely depressed from being in what I now understand was a severely verbally abusive relationship, I'm NO longer depressed. AND I have my personal freedom back now, too. Last but not least, I'm in agreement with the author that everyone needs to read this book before the age of 16. So much so that I have already bought a copy for my own future first born. Because in terms of eye opening self help books, they don't get any more eye opening than this one. They just don't!

Canada on Mar 25, 2021

Katie: I was in a verbally and physically abusive relationship for a little over 2 years. At the time I did not know that I was being verbally abused, I am a strong, independent person, I would never have thought for 1 moment that I was being verbally abused. Well over the course of the 2 year relationship, I slowly became someone I didn't recognize, I lost interests in the things I used to enjoy doing, stopped going out with friends... and all my ex ever said to me was that I was boring, and miserable, and how much I had changed since I had met him. Being the reasonable person I am, I had started counseling with a psycholgist about 6 months into the relationship, to see what was causing me to be so miserable (other than the obvious things in every day life that seem overwhelming). Well after 2 years of being told I was crazy, I always got mad over stupid things, I thought I knew everything... the list goes on, my ex and I had a huge fight which resulted in cops coming to the house for a domestic dispute. Now, just to let you in on my life, I am an Industrial Engineer (24 years old) and my ex was 34 years old (probably not the best age difference)... he was also a raging alcoholic (which...

United States on Feb 26, 2014

D.Reynolds: I have been (physically) free of a ten year abusive relationship for nearly 5 months. I say physically free because it will take a long long time for the emotional scars to heal. It is only through reading self help books such as The Emotionally Abusive Relationship that what I thought must have been my fault actually wasn't my fault at all. I was being emotionally abused. It seemed to start when I was happily recounting something one of my grown up children had said or done. He would hit me with his angry words and I would be sitting there with my stomach tied up in knots wondering where on earth did that came from. Then he would give me the silent treatment for a couple of days until things gradually got back to normal when the whole process would start all over again. I got to the point where I was afraid to even speak about my children. Then it was any of my family, friends, people I liked in the media. The endless put downs and name calling, even when I was going through cancer treatment, really got to me and it was at this time that I faced up to the fact that this man could not possibly love or respect me. I wasted ten years trying to make our relationship work, if only I...

United Kingdom on Nov 27, 2013

carola: Several weeks before leaving my abusive husband after 42 years of marriage, I read “The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. I noted many passages that clearly described the abusive tactics he was using on me.

The information, however, was just so irrefutable, so undeniably true, it was far too painful for me to fully realize and assimilate at the time.

Sixteen months after leaving him, I picked the book off the closet shelf and re-read it, this time noticing many more abusive characteristics of his and experiences I went through in the past. Numerous passages were boldly marked this time, and many more notes were made. Virtually every page held so many similarities to what I had been experiencing in this abusive relationship.

After decades of being unaware of this type of abuse, I finally arrived at the realization that he was indeed extremely verbally abusive during our marriage. This was a tremendous revelation to me, as I had unconsciously hidden and "forgotten" even the physical assault that occurred early in the marriage. Before we married, however, he was attentive and I thought he loved me as I loved him.

I thought that verbal...

Canada on Feb 22, 2013