Conflict Communication: A Revolutionary Approach to Conscious Communication

Ron A.: An effective, thorough, simple to understand guide on conflict and communication that can be applied to everyday life. Cannot recommend enough!

Australia on Nov 19, 2022

Kindle Customer: As I have become accustomed From Mr Miller and Co.
A vast knowledge well explained. thanks for sharing.

Spain on Apr 27, 2022

Bryan Bradburn: Out of the gate I just want to say, I love this book. It is not just for LEOs and first responders. It is for anyone who has to productively communicate and do so when emotions are high and the other party does NOT want to hear what you have to say, and vice versa. The description of the different parts of your brain and how they work in a conflict is what makes this book really tick and offers you a great filter to view your fellow traveler on the conflict journey through, and also to look at yourself and gut check where you are in whatever mess you find yourself in.
This is psychology you can use right now, and if you apply this, it will make you more capable in bad situations when you need to talk things through and keep them from escalating further. I would highly recommend this one along with "Difficult Conversations" and "Verbal Judo." I've had the opportunity to take part in high end communication and conflict resolution training and this book is the equal of most of that training. As is typical of Rory Miller's work, this is a practical, real-world, readily applicable skill set you can use immediately. I've found this useful in both personal and professional situations...

United States on Jun 02, 2021

David C: I bought this after seeing so many great reviews and also, after thinking to myself that I am in a stage of my life where I really do need to work harder on 'rewiring my brain'. It was also my 'January read' (I told myself to complete a minimum of one book a month. So this was my main one). I have to admit, when I first started reading it, I almost switched off instantly. His writing style just kind of fell flat on me at first BUT it's definitely not the worst I've seen. It just took me a bit of time to get used too I suppose. That and the constant references to the different types of brain 'mode' we switch into (lizard, monkey, human) during every day activities. I understood the concept, but at the beginning, it sounded like a lot of all-over-the-place ramblings.

This being said, it ended up being a fast read and I didn't skip any pages/topics. As Rory puts it, most of the stuff 'you already know' and probably already do, but what he is doing is reiterating it, or making you see it from a different view. There were certain elements that intrigued me more than others - such as a section towards the end, with a pyramid of levels of coercion (i.e NICE to LETHAL) and using...

United Kingdom on Jan 25, 2018

RR: This book has revolutionized the way I interact with people. I have 12 years of experience working with the most difficult sectors of the population ranging from the mentally ill and/or addicted to narcotics to homeless and habitual criminals and this book has laid a foundation that has improved my relationships with everyone I interact with and develop rapport to ensure success that most of my peers can never seem to achieve whilst maintaining a reputation and being respected in an environment where losing respect can have high costs. Rory is one of the few out there who talks about and is able to present The basic concepts that only those who work in the real world and have to interact with people at their worst are familiar with but never seem to be able to codify. Even the best Social Workers, Psychiatrists, Doctors , Police Officers, Security etc that I have worked with only come to scratch the surface of concepts of dynamic interaction that Rory so eloquently yet simply presents and puts to light in an unapologetic true to life way that is sorely needed in our ever changing world.

Canada on Dec 09, 2017

YoosDee: A hands-on, very practical guide on how to handle conflict communications. While many models exist to explain or behavior in different contexts, from Maslow to Goleman, the one proposed by Rory Miller best fit the subject of predictable behavior: the Triune Brain models. As scientific theories, all models including Maslow’s Hierarchy, Goleman or the Triune Brain have "holes you could drive a truck through" as indicated by Mr Miller: if Maslow was correct, no hungry people could produce art and no soldier going into battle could write a poem. The neuroscience of the brain is much more complex than three simplistic levels. Properly applied though, Mr Miller's detailed model has remarkable predictive power in conflict situations not only in self-defence, but also in corporate or private life.

According to his real life experience in the toughest situations, Rory Miller explains how our three brains (the Lizard, the Monkey and the Human) interact together:

1. Kids would use their Lizard when playing video games for instance.
2. The Monkey is completely concerned with social behavior, with status and what other people might think. Because most of the conflict we...

France on Apr 07, 2015

Bill Giovannucci: Coming from a background in Communications Theory, 20 plus years in business as a manager of high pressure projects and people, and adults and child teaching programs it is refreshing to read an easy to reference handbook. ConCom describes so well the roots of both interpersonal and group conflicts in a way that anyone can relate to others and make use of.

The author promotes a model that is both practical and objectively derived from known human communication behaviors. People act and think in patterns, in speech and in daily habits. Where these patterns are generated from is explained well in the accepted tri-brain model ConCom is based in, but applying that theory to a specific study of clashes between group and individual communication patterns puts an objective perspective on those human crossroads. People in all walks of daily life may see some of this as common sense, but never will all of it be for all of us. Such is the nature of having only our own personally created view of the world. The author provides us a reliable way to articulate our experiences of conflict with and between all other views we may come in contact with. That in turn reveals the first tool for...

United States on Apr 28, 2014

The Agnostic Apatheist: ConCom is a book by Rory Miller. As the name suggests, ConCom is about conflict communication. It broadly tackles the topic of conflict, including the common types of conflicts, its roots or causes, the patterns it follows, as well as some useful tactics for managing conflict. But the reader should be forewarned: this is a concept book. If you are looking for a set of physical techniques, then look elsewhere. There is no discussion or presentation of physical techniques. It is intended to improve one's understanding of the nature of conflict. Also, while the book's theme has implications for a variety of conflict types, its main focus is on individual conflict, as opposed to societal conflict or warfare.

The book is organized into three sections and two appendices.

Section 1: Background
In this section, the author provides general background information. He begins by discussing the misperception and poor understanding people have about violence, in part, due to the taboo surrounding the topic. He compares it to society's view of sex during the 1950's. "In the 1950's, polite people didn't talk about sex," says Miller. And today, people don't like to discuss...

United States on Mar 23, 2014