Gary Thomas, Bestselling Author of The Sacred Search: Discovering Your Ideal Marriage

Lola: So many fantastic insights I highly
Recommend it

Canada on Dec 17, 2022

Amazon Customer: So I enjoyed this book. It has some truths that should be taken seriously.

One of these truths being the idea that “just because you love someone and feel drawn to them doesn’t mean you should marry them.”
This is a true statement. You need to have analyzed this person's character and determined that they were a quality person that would grow in Christ over time and in turn make your relationship a good relationship. Voddie Baucham is clear on putting Christ first in his book “What He Must be if He Wants to Marry My Daughter”.
“The Sacred Search” did make this point so I’m not dismissing it entirely. Like I stated at first, this book was good and I did enjoy it. I just don’t think that he was firm on some points that are, in my opinion, critical to a Godly marriage.

There is a contradiction in this book that is misleading. At the start of the book, the author goes to great lengths to define infatuation and addresses that as being a bad basis for marriage. This is true and I generally agree with that statement. However, near the end of the book he says that infatuation is fine, even good, after you have evaluated that person and know that they...

United States on Aug 31, 2021

Melian: In the midst of infatuation, it is hard to discern wisely. This book is a great help in seeing more clearly. It reminds us straightforwardly what the chief motive for getting married should be and opens our eyes to consequences we will face if we make a poor marital choice.

Canada on May 08, 2021

zerto: Absolutely changed my perspective on what to look for in a wife. Has helped me to have patience in the dating process and wait for the right fit, not just "the one." It also helped me to really reflect on what is important to me and what I want my marriage to look like. Gary Thomas goes through a variety of different "types" of marriages; he offers them just as examples, not necessarily a comprehensive list, but they really helped me reflect on what I ACTUALLY want my marriage to look like, not just which girl I'm most "compatible" with now.

Would I hate to live on a farm? Well then I probably shouldn't date a farm girl who hates the city (actual situation I was in). Is owning and growing a business really important to me? Well then I should probably look for a woman who supports me in that, not someone who wants me to work a stable, high-salary job. Do I want my marriage to be kid-centered, home-centered, career-centered, or otherwise? Everyone has different preferences, and these really, really matter.

Lastly, I started to take my search for a wife seriously. I realized it was my responsibility to go the extra mile to meet new women, not just hope I meet one in...

Canada on Dec 12, 2019

Tiago: O solteiro cristão se depara com essa dúvida em algum momento da sua vida: com quem casar? Vou casar? Quando? Vai demorar?

Essa é uma dúvida que consome qualquer cristão, principalmente pra quem beira os 30 como eu. Porque Deus não provê isso em nossa vida? Porque parece ser tão difícil se relacionar? Porque um namoro não deu certo? Porque o amor não é correspondido? As perguntas não acabam para or cristão que está comprometido com Cristo mas que deseja um relacionamento amoroso, ter família, filhos, é um desejo que a maioria tem.

O livro trata de duas coisas interessantes. A primeira é que as vezes a igreja coloca, de forma bem intencionada (mas danosa as vezes), uma pressão sobre os jovens para que se casem, achem um parceiro/parceira, tenham família etc.... É quase como se fosse uma obrigação casar. Gary Thomas fala bem desse problema, pois nem todos nós desejamos casar, homens e mulheres de Cristo podem perfeitamente andar em verdade e justiça sem se casarem, sendo solteiros!!! Essa é uma opção válida que a igreja deveria dar a entender. Ser solteiro e cristão é ok. Casar é opcional e inclusive a Palavra fala disso.

Segundo...

Brazil on Dec 10, 2017

Brett: Trying to find a book of real substance in the Christian Living section at the bookstore can be more challenging than finding a Young Adult novel that doesn’t include a post-dystopian, star-crossed, vampire couple dying from cancer.

When my eyes fell upon The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas my initial reaction was, “Oh, fantastic. Another Christian dating advice book. I swear if I hear the word courtship one more time I will become a eunuch!” Okay, maybe not.

But seriously, I’ve read dozens of Christian dating books and very few have ever made much of an impact. Many of them lack real depth and are often very “me” focused. I was ready to move on to another shelf when a couple things caught my eye about this one.

First off, I’m a big fan of the author, Gary Thomas. If you’re unfamiliar with Thomas, he’s penned many thoughtful books on marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation. Second, the tagline intrigued me, “What if it’s not about who you marry, but why?” I knew I had to give it a read.


Thomas charitably dispels a lot of the common myths of Christian dating and marriage. He gives thoughtful, practical advice for the...

United States on Feb 04, 2016

Corey: Fantastic read!
This book is well written, biblical, practical, and very, very helpful. I highly recommend to any Christian who is single, dating, or is/will be involved in any sort of counselling related to relationships and marriage.

Gary Thomas wants you to take the pursuit of marriage very seriously, and he does so quite skillfully, addressing not only the why of marriage but also helping you think through the many questions you will want to face as you consider a future partner. He will help you see your blind spots, keep your feelings in check, understand your own desires for marriage, and all around give you a healthy system with which to prepare for and seek out marriage. Thomas' experience over the many years of counselling thousands of couples shines through each page with principles, stories, and strong convictions. He has many a hard word for us to hear, but we would do well to take them seriously.
Hard to think of anything I found dissatisfying about the book, other than it might make people who overthink things (like myself) think even more. I definitely found myself reconsidering if I even wanted to be married! But when it comes to the most important...

Canada on Jun 18, 2015