Caring for Your Aging Loved Ones with Compassion: Embrace the 'Slow Medicine' Approach

Jim: My siblings and I read this book as our parents are in their upper 80s - still doing fairly well, but we knew we were not as prepared as we need to be for what inevitably lies ahead. It is well written and helps both with a reality check as well as practical suggestions a family can apply. This can help avoid having to deal with things from scratch when it's an emergency and emotions are more intense.

United States on Dec 05, 2020

Lauren Williams, the Casual Unclutterer: One of my highest words of praise for any book is "lyrical." Dennis McCullough's My Mother, Your Mother is lyrical, meditative and compelling. Dr. McCullough dissects the current state of medical care for Seniors with authority: he is a family physician and geriatrician in practice for over 30 years, faculty at Dartmouth Medical School, and doctor at Kendal at Hanover continuing care retirement community. He writes about Eldercare medicine as a healer and as a son: he interweaves his experiences with his patients with his experiences caring for his mother, who passed away at age 92.

Quietly, calmly and forcefully, Dr. McCullough denounces the modern American trend of commercializing medicine, extending quantity of life without necessarily extending its quality. He advocates a return to "Slow Medicine," a conscientiously chosen path of honoring aging for its inevitability, to allow Elders to adjust to their changing circumstances and needs as gradually, completely and carefully as possible.

For example, take longer to ask your parents "How are you?" Let them take longer to answer. Let them be as independent as possible in their homes, maybe with some housekeeping...

United States on Oct 10, 2019

Rural ID.nurse: Found this book may have been difficult to write and it shows up in some of the awkward flow of ideas in some places. At many places though, the flow is very good. The author breaks down the various stages of degeneration of health in old age and lists tasks loving family members and other caring people can do to try and stay one step ahead of the needs. He speaks extensively of slow medicine, a style of care he encourages. The book is specific and vague at the same time, hard to describe, wished he'd been more specific in some places mostly. A good book to start your thinking, more focused for a beginner approaching the planned care of an elder as they fail in health. The tough decisions are all still there, you just get a framework within to make those decisions.

United States on Nov 02, 2018

Amazon Prime member: This is a fabulous book for anyone with “late life” family members. The first few pages of the book REALLY impacted my overall thinking and attitude. Wow....
The information and guidance the author offers hits very close to home (at least it did in my case)...”dang, I blew that situation”, and, “crap, this is hard”. But when you change your mindset and commit to the process, it’ll make all the difference. I’ve given away multiple copies because people start reading and then look up at me and say, “wow”. Then I get a follow up after they read the book....changed my thinking, how did you find this?, everyone needs to read this book...

United States on Oct 27, 2018

bayoubelle308: This book is the most loving guide to caring for aging parents that I have ever read. I experienced all of the stages, though in warp speed, when my wonderful mother became ill at 82 and died just three months later. Years in healthcare and helping others in this process did not prepare me for my own loss and my mother's passing. Dr. McCullough's advice to be vigilant, compassionate, and respectful during the natural process of life nearing the end of itself was very timely. His insightful and life-affirming attention called to the compensation made by elders to difficulties encountered during the aging process was so valuable and so loving. It has made me conscious that my own first response to my mother's perfectly appropriate adaptation to her own life changes was to "rush in", instead of standing back in amazement at the natural sequence of her acceptance in her preparation for what was to come. We have so come to expect and to hope that modern medicine and endless physician appointments and re-hospitalizations will "make things right." All done out of fear and hopefulness, but the outcome, nevertheless, is the same, and we have missed opportunities for acceptance and to...

United States on Jun 08, 2014

Pam: As an adult child with parents in their late 70's and early 80's this book is a great guide. You want to be your parents advocate as they loose their influence. This book shows how we can listen, support, and love our elders.

Canada on Jul 30, 2012