Uncovering the Consequences of Not Listening: What You're Missing and How It Impacts You

Kindle CustomerKindle Customer: This book has informed me that I am deaf ( just a little) and why, how people feel when I cut them off mid conversation, and why I do it. Why the mobile phone is destroying the art of talking.
But it's not too late read this inspirational book and take a little time for a chat.

United Kingdom on Oct 25, 2023

Samuel Mobberley: comprehensive

United Kingdom on Sep 29, 2023

Steve P: This is a very enjoyable, well-written, and insightful exploration of how critical listening is in our lives. Kate Murphy explores a mixture of scientific research, cultural observations, and practical advice to support her conclusions about listening. She writes in an engaging and with humour, which makes it enjoyable to read. Occasionally, the book can get preachy, and some of the chapters are less focused than others.

I’ve always been interested in improving my listening and have read many books on the subject. This is one of the more enjoyable ones and touches on material and perspectives that are not always covered by other books. It’s certainly more interesting than reading some textbooks on listening. Despite learning about and practising listening as part of my professional career, I still gleaned some new ideas from Murphy’s book. And it’s helped me pinpoint some areas I need to improve.

If you’re looking for a book to improve your listening skills and deepen your relationships, check it out.

Australia on Sep 11, 2023

Beguiled By Books: I’ve had You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy in my TBR pile since May 2020. After nearly eighteen months in the pandemic, the time seemed right to read this book. In the book, Kate Murphy endeavors to help readers become better listeners through curiosity and empathy. However, right off the bat, this book irritated me. I found Murphy’s take extremely neurotypical. Look at the following excerpt describing “bad listening behaviors.”

“Among the most frequently cited bad listening behaviors are:

- Interrupting

- Responding vaguely or illogically to what was just said

- Looking at a phone, watch, around the room, or otherwise away from the speaker

- Fidgeting (tapping on the table, frequently shifting position, clicking a pen, etc.)

If you do these things, Stop.”

The frustrating thing about these traits is that they are widespread traits in neurodivergent individuals, especially those with ADD/ADHD and Autism. I often find that I can’t look directly at the speaker to listen well, or my mind will drift. Looking away is a mechanism I use to help focus my mind on the listener, and...

United States on Jul 21, 2023

Maria Jimenez: Llevo recomendado este libro desde que lo lei a todo el mundo y a día de hoy sigo buscando uno parecido. Te enseña mucho a ser más conscientes de tus palabras y la importancia de la escucha activa. Recomendado 100%

Spain on Jul 08, 2023

N T: In an age where technology decreases meaningful connections and distraction is a widespread addiction, Murphy educates the reader on the art of listening and its necessity for life. Murphy writes with excellent style, compelling arguments, and a tone and mindset that positively impacts yourself and how you see the world. This book teaches you the skills necessary for developing strong and lasting relationships, and when applied, make conversations (with others and your inner voice) exponentially more rewarding. There are so many aspects of the mindset of a good listener; I have reviewed my notes on this book numerous times and can easily see myself re-reading it. The book has changed how I approach listening in relationships for the better, and I am indescribably grateful for Murphy doing so. I even revitalized some mundane text conversations. With this newfound listening knowledge, I feel like a new person.

United States on Nov 07, 2022

Tushar khosla: Seldom one comes across a book of this kind which brings out the importance of listening well in achieving more professionally, personally, socially and other spheres of life. At one level, nothing in the book is radically new or big revelation, and at the same time, it reveals within us the knowing-practicing gap.

Consider interesting aspects linked to the phenomenon called listening:

1. Listening is the gift you choose to bestow- no one can force you to listen
2. There is no better way to show respect, than listen
3. Better to listen to how people feel than try to convince them to feel differently or recommend solution to their problem
4. Good listeners are good questioners too. Their questions are honest and open and not judgements and recommendations in disguise.
5. While listening ability to manage conversations in the head matters most
6. Open listening needs secure and confident self : not worried that if I really understand others view point, I may not be able to present y view point as effectively
7. It helps to bring conscious competence to choosing between Shift response and Support Response to every statement made to you.
8....

India on May 01, 2021

Seth: This book’s most important lesson may be a collection of tenets you must believe to be an effective listener: (1) People are unpredictable — everyone you know or meet. (2) What you know is different from what they know. (3) There is more to the story than first appears. Kate Murphy then effectively exposes what you can *do* with those truths — how to commit to listening and its magical (though scientifically explained) ability to enrich you through learning and building close relationships. Read the book with a pen in hand — there’s no 1-pager cheat-sheet at the end.

That said, brace yourself for a certain preachiness that infuses every chapter. I wish that the book centralized all the critiques of the modern world (social media, addictive phones, political climate, etc.), so that the other chapters could more purely focus on the intersection of listening and *timeless* characteristics of the human experience (distractability, building of intimacy, a beautiful question, etc.). Instead, you’ll have to muscle through the sense that the author keeps touching on those critiques since she thinks you JUST DO NOT GET IT YET.

I also think there’s an important...

United States on Jan 20, 2020