Finding Hope and Coping with Stress and Grief in Caring for a Loved One with Dementia

Dr. RJ: One of the most helpful books for anyone living with someone with dementia. Really helpful and practical, compassionate, and psychologically astute.

United States on Nov 21, 2023

Nhu Sunny: I am so lucky to get to find this book on Amz while struggling with my mom who is having Alzheimer's. Been through hard days with stress, anxiety, and doubtfulness about myself, this book is really touching my heart of empathy, forgiveness, and understandings. Thank you a lot!!!

United States on Sep 12, 2023

反省堂書店(のぐち): ...

Japan on Apr 30, 2023

ksolo: As a caregiver for my Mom who has alzheimers, this book was full of helpful information about what to expect at each stage of the disease.

United States on Apr 22, 2023

Elaine Hildebrand: The author knows what she is writing about. Her advice resonated with my experience and I came away with some helpful insight regarding loving and living with a partner who has dementia.

Canada on Dec 06, 2020

mcmm: Extremely helpful & makes so much sense. Very well written & in a good format for caregivers that are overloaded.

Canada on Jul 28, 2020

bluebirdfp: This book is for caregivers and professionals, and there are many quotes and points made that spoke to me. However one issue that must often crop up for caregivers of spouses is their enforced deprivation of sexual intimacy by the dementia sufferer; I only found one brief passing mention of this. To some caregivers it may not matter, but to others it will represent a massive reduction in comfort and closeness, as well as great sadness. Is the caregiver justified in looking for sex elsewhere, or should they just put up and shut up? Also not mentioned is the likelihood that caregivers will self-medicate with food, alcohol or other substances to reduce their ongoing massive stress, which will hugely impact their struggle for self-care and survival. These are issues I would have liked to see addressed, but were not.

United Kingdom on Mar 25, 2019

Amazon Customer: From the very first chapter I found this book to be most helpful in gaining understanding of why I was feeling the way I was. It talks of “ambiguous Loss” something I had been going through but did not realise that was what it was , how could I be grieving when my husband is still with me???” But, it all made sense , this book has helped me in so many ways . I always thought I was a rather strong person, I have had to be due to many difficult circumstances in my life but nothing prepares us for this. My mother had dementia and I helped her through it but this, your partner in life, is so much different as you are living with it all the time watching the person you love slowly “disappear” in front of you. I advise anyone going through the struggle of caring for a loved one and trying to cope with everything else that is needed done on a daily basis as well to read this book . I recommend this book highly and I thank Pauline Boss Phd. for writing it and helping many people through the suffering of caring for their loved one with Dementia.

Australia on Aug 03, 2018

Kevin J Haselhorst, MDKevin J Haselhorst, MD: Ambiguity is My Newfound Path to Freedom

I find “ambiguity” as tasty as green eggs and ham, but I DON’T LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM! I like certainty – with items on my plate appearing well-organized and appetizing. Dementia makes life messy and gives people who care for them upset stomachs. In “Loving Someone Who Has Dementia,” Dr. Pauline Boss becomes another Dr. Seuss who provides readers a creative approach to managing dementia through the lens of ambiguity.
Whereas the reality of dementia is complex, Dr. Boss writes, the joy of ambiguity allows caregivers to use their imaginations, find the middle ground and allow for “both-and thinking.” She believes that ambiguity is the essence of spirituality and caring for patients with dementia requires resilience, compassion and mindfulness. Dr. Boss shows caregivers how to proceed through the maze of ambiguity, reducing their stress and anxiety.
As an emergency physician, I care for both patients with dementia and the caregivers who love them. In the tension between duty and empathy, Dr. Boss gave me one piece of sound advice to help resolve conflict between doing more and doing less. She advised me to not...

United States on Oct 16, 2017

Edward: This book was given to me by a friend who read it, found it engaging and thought I would find it helpful. I am the primary caregiver for my mother who has been diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer's. Reading it did help. I opted to read one chapter a night so as to absorb the information. I found a lot of it to be helpful as she gave words and definitions to what I am experiencing.

That said, I would like to have seen a chapter on a son/daughter taking care of a mother/father. The opposite sex role she just missed completely. She seemed to think women are the only caregivers and while that is true, the men who are caregivers probably need more guidance as we are new to this and there are fewer of us.

A chapter dedicated to dealing with emotional outburts from the parent would have been extremely helpful. Some Alzheimer's patients have a personality change and their language changes with it. My mother uses language she would never use if she were in her right mind. Also she has lost all her modesty. There was no indication on what to do to deal with these outbursts of nastiness which will crop up for no reason and then while the caregiver is trying to digest what...

United States on Sep 20, 2011