Healing and Coping for Partners of Sexually Addicted Spouses

Rosalie matys: A good read to support partners of sex addiction.

Canada on Apr 19, 2023

Maureen G.: I struggled for a long time as the spouse of a sex addict. I lost every atom of self worth and confidence and for a time couldn’t look at myself in a mirror because I felt so ugly and rejected. Talking with friends wasn’t an option because many people (including me before I was faced with it) don’t think sex addiction exists. I found out that not only does sex addiction exist, it’s the most damaging, soul destroying, sanity stealing addiction to deal with for a partner. I could feel myself slipping further into deep depression and despair. I couldn’t find a counselor with any experience in this field in my area. Then, as if God finally decided he’d given me all I could take, I found a therapist who recommended this book. It validates everything I’ve been feeling and has clarified that my husband’s addiction has nothing to do with my worth or attractiveness. I’ve learned strategies to deal with this and protect my health and sanity. I feel like I can actually look forward to feeling “normal” again at some point in the future after more reading and counseling. I owe Marsha Means and Barbara Steffens a huge debt of gratitude. Buy this book. You’ll stop blaming...

United States on Jan 20, 2023

J M MATHIESON: This book is filled with 'light-bulb moments' that help you to realise that you are not insane!

Australia on Jul 24, 2020

Nicky: This is a must read if you’ve found yourself embarking on an unwanted journey of sex addiction. There are several models of recovery for spouses of sex addiction. Take time to read about the different models and go forward with the model or models that are helpful for you. I found comfort and enlightenment with the help of this book that I wasn’t finding anywhere else.

Canada on Jul 29, 2018

Nicole: Very good book

United Kingdom on Nov 12, 2017

rn500: This book was just what I needed as the first book I read to begin my education on being the spouse of a sexually addicted man. It's a good mix of a little clinical information with practical, real life experiences and advice. The best part was reading the stories of survivors, both of addicts and injured spouses. It gave me hope, and validated what I am going through. The 'skim worthy' part for me was part of the section on caring for yourself - basic information, 'get sleep, take your vitamins, exercise' kind of stuff.

This book is written from a Christian perspective, but doesn't beat you over the head with it. I think anyone going through this, Christian or not, could benefit from the information given. If you are a spiritual person, it's even better, because it helps you think about the experience from a larger perspective than just your own pain.

United States on May 25, 2014

Bless 1 Another: Well, they say WE, the devastated are to read everything we can get our hands on to understand THEIR DISEASE. So, I did that. I read and read, with what felt like two broken legs, two broken arms, an eye patch, a brain injury, cracked sternum, and perforated heart. (Emotionally speaking that is..........) All that came of the books I read on this subject was even MORE TRAUMA. This is the ONLY book out there folks to read if you are feeling the lowest low of your life due to the betrayal. If you are sitting there with an STD and a heart made of swiss cheese, an addict that is still righteous in their wrongness "crazymaking", who looked on line at things that you didn't even know existed? If you can barely get your kids to school, remember where you put your keys, don't care to put makeup on or go to the grocery store to trigger off a darned magazine cover- if this is you, ...............buy this book. Actually, buy atleast three if you can afford it, and I will say why: The first one, you will probably mark up and underline to death.(don't want our addict to see how much we despise them in our notes- (or we would be called shaming, and toxic) If you are triggering off the whole...

United States on Dec 13, 2010

StarryMoon0: If you are the partner of a sex addict who had no clue what was going on behind your back, please, read this book!

After I found out about my husbands betrayal, I read and researched all I could. I attended counselling, and joined a 12 step program for partners. The counselling which was helpful at first, turned into a damaging excersice. The 12 step program eroded my sanity and my sense of self.

The traditional model says us partners are "co-addicts", "co-dependant", and "enablers" of our husbands secret lives. While I do agree, some peole are this way, and have lived knowing for years about thier husbands activities and choose to look the other way. These women can and likly will benifit from the traditional model.

This book looks at the "trauma model". The partners are caught in a horrifying circle of trauma, which involves trying to find safety, trying to figure out whats going on, trying to protect ourselves. We are not labeled with damaging labels, not asked to wait for god to help us, not told we are sick. It echoes the feelings we feel, and the thoughts we have, while offering a gentle hand of understanding rather than condemnation.

I am...

United Kingdom on Nov 02, 2010